After having a tough few months towards the end of 2015, as the new year began, I made a promise to myself that I would make the decision to always be happy. Now, for the first few weeks it seemed to be working pretty well, but I lost track and ‘forgot’ (no-excuse, I know) to be happy! (how can that even happen? aha) I got so caught up in the stresses of university and other things in life, that don’t even really matter, at all, that I forgot to be happy. I let the teeniest of things get on top of me and this sent me spiralling into unhappiness.
This past couple of months though, something has changed, I am not entirely sure what it is, maybe a combination of a few things! First and foremost, and the thing that I believe has made the most difference to my mindset, is that I have been making more of a conscious effort to be kind to myself. I quite often find myself saying things to and about myself that I would never dream of even thinking about another person, let alone telling them, so why should I be talking to myself in that way? And the answer is, I shouldn’t! So I have tried to capture my thoughts before they get out of control and just be nice. And I think it is working! So, if you are reading, future-leanne, then I hope that you are still being kind!!
Along with this, some very special people have come into my life recently and have bought so much happiness with them! I haven’t laughed or been so happy in such a long time, and it is so refreshing to know that there is still people out there who care, and that at 20 my life isn’t already over aha!
I have also been trying to train myself to not be such a perfectionist, much, much harder than you would think it would be! I find it so difficult to embrace imperfections in myself and the things that I do, and I am trying my best to just accept things as they are, and to be happy, no matter what! Along with not worrying so much about what other people will think.
I am going to say that this is all a work in progress, but overall I feel so much happier already. So, for the rest of this year (and for years to come) I am going to make a conscious effort to be happy, to think things through logically when my brain goes on a mad worry spree, to think about what actually matters in that moment and to not let my ‘fear’ of imperfection, or anything else for that matter, hold me back from doing things that I want to do in life! I want this year to be the best year of my life, with the most incredible memories to look back on, surrounded by amazing friends and family! If I am having a down day, then I am going to (try to) plaster a smile on my face anyway and make the most of what I have to be happy for! Let’s start right now!
love, Leanne xx